VICTORIA Beckham has revealed that she suffered from a crippling eating disorder that she kept from her loved ones after leaving the Spice Girls.
In her eponymous Netflix documentary, 51-year-old Victoria reveals she starved herself in an effort to stay thin and became "very good at lying" after losing control of what was being said about her.
She admits she hid the condition from her family as she struggled to "stay relevant" after the group split..
Victoria says: "It's been a lot, and that's hard. I had no control over what was being written about me, the pictures being taken, and I suppose I wanted to control that.
"I could control it with the clothing, I could control my weight and I was controlling it in an extremely unhealthy way.
"When you have an eating disorder you become very good at lying and I was never honest about it with my parents.
Loss of identity
"I never talked about it publicly. It really affects you when you're being told constantly that you're not good enough and I suppose that's been with me my whole life."
Speaking about her disordered eating in an episode entitled Kill The Wag, Victoria details her loss of identity while trying to reinvent herself as a fashion designer as husband David's footballing career flourished.
She describes her Wag era — one that involved her getting a boob job, wearing hair extensions, lashings of fake tan and minimal outfits — as her "attention-seeking" years.
Archive footage of Victoria alongside the other Wags at the 2006 World Cup in Baden-Baden in Germany show her looking both frail and pneumatic.
Within two years, however, she had successfully turned things around with her fashion career. The boob job was also reversed.
She quips in the show: "I buried those boobs in Baden-Baden!'
In another emotional scene in the three-part series, the mum of four's loyal parents, Jackie and Tony, are interviewed.
They say her issues with weight started at theatre school when she was called fat and shoved to the back of the stage.
Her mum recalls: "If you're told you're overweight, you'd be hurt. It's a silly thing to say to a young person: 'you're fat'." Dad Tony adds: "Obviously it would upset her."
Victoria says she would call her parents in tears, begging them to let her return home.
During her Spice Girls days, unflattering pap photos showed her with a hint of belly.
And in 2000, chat show host Michael Parkinson asked her on air if she was anorexic. She laughed off his question.
She was also weighed on live TV.
Victoria now eats healthily with no issue — although she was recently mocked online for claiming one of her favourite meals was unbuttered wholegrain toast with salt.
She was so badly hurt by all the nasty things being said about her, and like so many women, tried to reclaim control by what went in and out of her body.
Victoria's friend
She had previously claimed her healthy eating was to try to control her skin as she suffered from acne.
Last night a friend said: "Victoria wanted to be honest and upfront in this documentary — she didn't want to shy away from a subject she knows still, to this day, obsesses people.
"In her younger years, before she found the gym and true happiness with her career and family, she was incredibly rigid with her food, and borderline anorexic.
"She largely replaced solid food with liquids and would also run quite obsessively.
"She was also told to lose weight by Spice Girls management and that saw her spiral — she would binge-eat cereal and make herself ill.
"She was so badly hurt by all the nasty things being said about her, and like so many women, tried to reclaim control by what went in and out of her body.
"Her decision to speak about it now shows just how far she has come — she's an incredible role model to both her kids and women generally.
"Victoria hopes that by being honest with her difficulties, she can help others experiencing similar problems.
No self-pity
"Doing this documentary has, in many ways, been like therapy for her.
"There is no self-pity, she doesn't blame anyone else for her problems, and she shows that hard work leads to success."
In a lighter moment in the show, former England captain David, 50, offers Victoria a Miniature Heroes chocolate bar.
She jokes: "I haven't eaten chocolate since the '90s — I'm not going to start now!"
Elsewhere in the series, which features contributions from Anna Wintour, Eva Longoria, Tom Ford and Roland Mouret, Victoria discusses her rollercoaster journey from Spice Girl to designer.
Eldest son Brooklyn and his wife Nicola Peltz make only a fleeting appearance in the final edit amid the family's ongoing feud.
But Victoria's three other children, Romeo, Cruz and Harper, all appear.
And just as Posh was widely praised for her part in David's own Emmy-winning Netflix four-parter, so Becks repays the favour this time around.
In one scene he jokes: "What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.", prompting Posh to retort: "He thinks that'll be his moment in the show but it won't . . . it's all about me."
There's still a lot I want to do. I'm not stopping yet.
Victoria Beckham
Victoria also opens up about her business empire which, she admits, was, at one stage, £10million in the red.
As her business partner at the time, David admits he found it awkward to keep pumping cash into the business and that difficult conversations were had.
In the final scene, the happy couple are shown in the garden of their sprawling Cotswolds manor.
Reflecting on her success, a tearful Victoria tells David: "There's still a lot I want to do. I'm not stopping yet." When David asks her if that involves making another baby, she tells him "No!"
The series closes with one of Victoria's favourite Spice Girls songs, Saturday Night Divas.
The show was premiered at the Curzon cinema in Mayfair, central London, last night.
Victoria and David were joined by Romeo, Harper, Cruz and his girlfriend Jackie Apostel.
David's mum, Sandra, and sister Joanne were also there along with the Beckhams' celebrity pals Tilly and Tana Ramsay.
Three of Victoria's Spice Girls pals turned up — Ginger Spice Geri Horner, Sporty Spice Mel C and Baby Spice Emma Bunton.
Before the screening Victoria stood on stage and said: "I'd like to thank the Spice Girls — Geri, Emma, Melanie and Melanie. I love you so much and thank you so much.
"My children, Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz, Harper and David — oh, my God, he's not a child. I was doing so well without cards as well.
"It's taken me this process to really be proud of what I've achieved and to realise finally that I am enough."
- Victoria Beckham is available to stream on Netflix now
'BRILLIANTLY CANDID'
By Rod McPhee
WHEN Victoria Beckham's business was at the height of its extravagant spending she admitted some of her most ostentatious requests included "flying chairs from one side of the world to the other."
She also spent £70,000 a year on plants for her office – then paid someone £15,000 a year to water them.
Small wonder, she admits, the company was struggling financially. But she confesses in her new documentary that she'd naively gone from the ostentatious world of entertainment to the more business-minded world of fashion.
"I didn't realise it at the time, but the waste was mind-blowing." she says in the Netflix three-parter, out now. "I hear it now and I'm horrified but I allowed that to happen."
She is nothing if not candid in the mini-series, but doesn't stop there. She goes on to admit, seemingly, that already being a Spice Girl married to a famous footballer meant she was unwittingly at a disadvantage.
She said: "Part of the problem was people were really afraid to tell me 'No'. I think probably there's a power, if I'm being honest, the power of celebrity. People thought that I wasn't used to hearing 'No'.
"I'll hold my hands up and hold myself accountable for things that I've done, that I should have done, and could have done differently. and I was in debt – there was a lot I had to change."
If ever you needed definitive proof that Victoria Beckham is as sharp as razor, then this documentary is it.
She could have delivered a bog standard warts and all autobiography for Netflix, or a no holds barred snapshot of her life as a fashion designer.
Instead she's carefully curated both elements and woven them into this version of events.
It shows how she went from a Spice Girl to the darling of the catwalk and, of course, the head of one of Britain's most famous families with husband David.
Here she also admits to her own flaws, to the moments when she lost her way and picked herself back up when she inevitably faltered.
But despite now being the successful global fashion icon that is Victoria Beckham, she does it without seeming pious. Instead she oozes genuine humility and sense of humour that proves a huge part of her is still Posh Spice.
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