I ADORE Emily Atack. She was my favourite thing about my favourite show of last year, Rivals, and I genuinely love her stand-up. She's a funny woman.
What's not so funny, however, is the visceral reaction I had to seeing those jaw dropping pics of her on holiday in Marbella this week.
Looking stunning in a plunging white bikini and a tiny black dress that left little to the imagination, Emily showed zero signs that she was caught in the trappings of new motherhood.
Her little boy, Barney, her first child with fiance Dr Alistair Garner, is just over a year old.
I remember when my eldest, Sophie, was that age, I spent my days covered in baby food, my unwashed hair slicked over my tired eyes, the same two grey tracksuits worn on heavy rotation.
The idea of flying out to Marbella and getting my legs out was as alien to me as shaving said legs in the first place.
I don't know why seeing my heroine like this, toned, tanned…happy, irked me so much. Was it jealousy? Almost certainly.
But more than that, I couldn't shift the nagging feeling of unease.
Why do we never see celebrity mums being 'normal' on social media?
Why is my algorithm intent on feeding me reel after reel of gorgeous post-partum starlets looking like supermodels, rather than showing the knackered reality that is having a baby?
Is it too much to ask that when I log on to Instagram first thing in the morning I'm not left crying into my cornflakes as yet another celeb mum pouts in her bikini, her baby, barely six minutes old, in the buggy nearby?
Since having my second daughter, Marnie, six months ago, I've tried practically every trick in the book to try and shift those extra baby pounds.
I hired a PT but our schedules could never align. I bought a pilates reformer board, but when Sophie, now three, got wind of it, it became a pirate ship and has stayed that way ever since.
I'm currently on the 5:2 intermittent fasting diet but I find myself so hungry I'm gobbling up Marnie's blended broccoli in desperation.
I couldn't imagine sticking on a tiny little dress, in full make up, and heading out on the town in Spain, partying with pals like Emily.
I love that she feels good enough to do that, especially when she spoke out about the pressure to lose her baby weight last year, insisting she doesn't diet and saying, "The last thing I want to do is go to the gym but the first thing you're expected to do is get back into shape."
But seeing her now, looking better than ever, it's left me – and I'm sure many other new mums – wondering what we're doing wrong.
Emily's not the only one in my doghouse.
Michelle Keegan, with her perfect hair, teeth and body is another culprit.
I recall the pics from an early family holiday with hubby Mark Wright and their daughter Palma and wondering how it was possible that 'Chelle looked so immaculate just weeks after giving birth.
I know Michelle is incredibly private, but, as I recovered from having Marnie, just four weeks after Palma arrived, I would've given anything for a shot of Michelle in the trenches, a teeny insight into the reality of feeding and sleep regression and dirty nappies.
I have no doubt both Michelle and Emily have been through it behind closed doors.
Motherhood is never plain sailing. But why can't we see that sort of relatable content, and not the sundrenched bikini pics which just make other mums feel like we're falling behind?
I get it – they're celebs. Their livelihood often depends on looking good and really, they can share what the hell they like from their private lives, they don't owe us anything.
Except, maybe they do. These women, who plenty of people look up to, be it for their talent, their fashion choices, or their lifestyle, have millions of followers on social media, many of them females, a portion of them, like me, new mums.
They often get incredible brand deals to promote incredible products.
Yes, it's great to see them looking all glam and dolled up, but when you're in the public eye, why not be a bit more open about the private moments that are really difficult?
Trust me, fans would love them for it.
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